“The heart of man plans his way,
but the LORD establishes his steps.”
(Proverbs 16: 9, ESV)
My last post dealt with the dreaded day I would turn 60!
To offset the fear of this number,
I planned out how this day would come and go.
Oh, yes, I took it in my own hands.
My “last day I would ever be 59” would include a massage and a salon visit.
You know, stuff “all about me.”
My friend, Jo, was treating me to a nice dinner to round out that last day of the decade.
Saturday, my birthday, would be filled with cards and calls and dinner with my family.
And then, there was the special luncheon my daughter and sister
and friend had planned for the following Wednesday.
Yep, this was going to be perfect!!!!
Well, if you are a day over 5 years old, then you know what happens to plans.
As my late husband would say,
“They go the way of the buffalo!!!!”
Friday morning, my last day to ever be 59,
I awoke with a terrible pain in my upper leg.
Muscle spasms was the culprit.
This was not the day I had envisioned at all!!!!!
Yes, I had the massage.
It was out of necessity, not relaxation.
And I endured sitting in the salon chair for 2 hours.
I tried to smile and be cordial at dinner.
But the pain just kept getting worse.
Saturday, my big day, found the pain moving down my leg
and eventually causing “numbness” in my foot.
I did have dinner with my family,
but hobbled out to Daddy’s truck at the end of the night
without much feeling in my foot.
By Monday, I had to see my primary care physician.
After a shot of steroids, I left with instructions
to load up on ibuprofen and muscle relaxers,
to continue the ice and the heat and the rest.
I barely moved from my bedroom for the next 2 days.
On Wednesday, a friend picked me up and took me to my luncheon party.
I was let out at the front door and used my dad’s cane to make my way in.
60 isn’t looking so great at this point in the story!
It was a wonderful gathering of a few of my dearest friends,
some old and some new.
I was presented a beautiful picture my sister had painted
of things others had said about me,
along with a remembrance book of notes from different friends.
It was quite humbling.
As these past 7 days have played out much differently than I planned,
I have had a lot of time to think about just who is really in charge of my life.
I like to think it’s me, but the truth is, it’s not.
“The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps.”
At first, I was really “put out” that MY plans were being foiled.
My family had even planned a special surprise for me that was also foiled.
Why couldn’t things just go as we planned?
I can’t really answer that.
But I can tell you that I am very pleased to know that God establishes my steps.
I can make such a royal mess of things on my own.
It wasn’t a punishment because God doesn’t work that way.
Was it a test?
Only God can answer that one.
All I know is that I realize sometimes I can go full steam ahead
and not even consider what the Lord might have me do.
Sometimes I get so wrapped up in “ME” that I forget HIM.
This week has allowed me plenty of time to talk with Him
and read His precious love letter to me called the Bible.
This is something I have been rushing through of late,
so this time has been extra sweet.
It was a time I have truly been needing;
one He patiently waits for daily.
As of this writing, I still hurt.
But it is slowly improving and I see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Now, I am not thankful for the pain,
but I am thankful for the gentle reminder of God’s love for me;
a love so awesome that He establishes my steps
even though I plan my ways.
Just something to think on!
Lots of love, Sharon