Sometimes I’m Just Ugly

For at least a month, I’ve had a note on my kitchen bar;

a note with a blog post idea.

The problem has been how to take that idea and turn it into a post that would

speak to both you, my readers, and to myself.

Until now, I had nothing.

Here’s the deal:


No matter how “mature” we supposedly are in our walk with the Lord,

we still have times that are just plain ugly.

None of us have it all together.

Oh, we may try to make you think that, but we don’t.


Maybe you don’t struggle as much as I do with your flesh,

but everyday is a big-time fight in my very being.

Most of the time, because I give control over to the Holy Spirit,

the struggle stays out of sight.

Only I am aware of it within my soul.

But sometimes, I let my guard drop and think I can control my own self.

That’s when it gets ugly.

We all have those people in our lives who just push our buttons.

Don’t pretend you don’t!!!!!

And some days, it only takes a light tap to get us going.

Are you with me yet?

We can justify our behavior quite brilliantly.

After all, they deserved it.

But then the Holy Spirit starts niggling at our conscience

and we know we didn’t reflect Jesus in our actions.

No matter what the other person did,

we didn’t respond from a heart of love,

but rather a heart of stone.

That’s where it gets really hard.

I have to answer for what I do, not for what another does.

I have to answer why I responded as I did.

Why was I angry?

What exactly was I angry about?

Did my anger really do anything to improve the situation

or did it just hurt and embarrass and maybe even sever relationships?

That hurts deep down inside.

No matter the problem, I am called to respond with grace and love and mercy.

That’s how Jesus responds to me

and I certainly don’t deserve any of that.

So, what’s my point?

None of us have arrived.

None of us reflect Jesus as He would have us to do.

We are all still growing in our walk with Him.


I am so thankful for God’s sufficient grace that covers all my messes.

But the consequences of my actions still remain even when He forgives my ugliness.

May we take more time to surrender our thoughts, our words, and our actions

to the Almighty who will cause them to be pure and holy instead of ugly and unholy.

I know I need to.

How about you?

Lots of love, Sharon

3 thoughts on “Sometimes I’m Just Ugly

  1. you had me at the word “ugly,” and then you really hit the nail on the head with the button pushing thing! Boy am I struggling with this right now. I, too, ask the Holy Spirit to guide and counsel me each day, but there is at least one certain person who is my appointed thorn in the flesh, I am sure. Thank you for writing this. It does not justify my thoughts or behavior or rationalizing my bad reactions, but it is good to have company. We will continue to struggle and turn it over each day, moment by moment.

  2. I am right there with you in this battle! I have to remind myself “Whose” I am & as an ambassador what my actions & words are to be. The more I surrender to the Holy Spirit the more I am able to do what is right by God’s instructions. Not easy to hear others words that you know are false & not respond. As Kenneth used to say ” you don’t argue with those less informed”. Pray & continue to ask God to give me His wisdom to do the right thing when these circumstances are present.

  3. An excellent blog, Sharon. I’m sure that it hits the mark with everyone who reads it. It surely
    reflects the reactions and emotions that we have in spite of how hard we try. I am so thankful
    for the Holy Spirit’s indwelling, instruction and timely reminders. I surely can’t do it alone.


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