Triggers

Most of the widows I have talked with have told me the oddest things trigger their grief.  I have to agree.  There are different things that bother me, usually something simple and unexpected.  However, it seems every time I go to the grocery store, I could have a breakdown.  Doesn’t that sound silly?  Everything, I mean EVERYTHING in your life changes when you lose your spouse.  Even grocery shopping.  Not that long ago, I clipped coupons and did the grocery game, bringing home great purchases at rock bottom prices.  We had so much stuff stockpiled until I had to store some of it in the TV armoire in our bedroom!  Now, I don’t even know what to buy.  For 36 years, I bought for our family.  Now, I struggle to buy for just me.  What do you eat when it’s just you?  I mean, how much fun is it to cook for just yourself.  So, I peruse the frozen dinner aisle for something good and then I pick up a package of sandwich meat and some sliced cheese.  Sometimes cooking was dull and mundane, but I really miss it.  I miss having a good meal prepared when Les would get home from work.  I miss him telling me how much he enjoyed those meals.  He actually told me my sweet potato pie was better than his grandma’s!!!  I miss making him a plate to reheat for lunch at work the next day.  I miss the routines of daily life as a wife.  Maybe soon, I will get into a better routine of my own.  Maybe I will learn to enjoy cooking for just myself.  Then again, maybe the Lord will allow me to practice my cooking skills on some of you as I welcome you into my home.  Any takers?!?!?!?!


2 thoughts on “Triggers

  1. Sharon, You are in my prayers. I am not a widow yet, but I’m having meltdowns just about every other day and I never know when they are coming i symphatize with you about the meltdowns.

  2. Hey guys, Just wanted to give you all an update since this post on “Triggers.” I have had some “takers” on me cooking them a meal. AND last night and tonight, I cooked full course meals. Last night, my dad and my aunt ate with me, then tonight I cooked for Stacey’s birthday. It felt like old times!!! Even went to the grocery store today for Stacey’s meal and because I had a purpose, it didn’t bother me at all. Isn’t life so funny?

    Thanks for reading my blog and for caring enough to send me messages. Many of you FB message me and others e-mail me. I love to hear from you all. Lots of love, Sharon

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