It’s My Birthday/ I Can Cry If I Want To

Tomorrow (Tues, Jan 10) will be my birthday.  It never even crossed my mind that I would be a widow on my 57th birthday.  I’m sorry, but that is just wrong!!!  Oh, I know many others have been in my shoes at a much earlier age, but we’re talking about me here.  Once in a while, I get a little self-absorbed.  Don’t you?  Just so you know, I will not be spending my birthday alone.  I have a “date” with my dad.  He’s taking me wherever I want to go.  As of right now, the jury’s still out on where that will be.  Speaking of my dad; he has been my rock.  We have spent so much time together that the guys at the shop call me his “side-kick.”  With Mama passing away in June and Les in November, the two of us just naturally fit together.  I always have someone to eat dinner with.  We are a big comfort to one another.

Saturday night, my daughter and my sister hosted a nice family dinner for my birthday with steak and all the trimmings.  We even had chocolate lava cakes for dessert.  Talk about good!!!  We were winding down the meal and just sitting around the table talking when my 5 year old granddaughter spoke up and said “Well guys, who’s ready for a game of Pin The Tail On The Donkey?”   As she was very serious, since that is what you do at birthday parties when you are five, I immediately said “I am.”  And guess what?  We all (from age 2 to 81)  played the game and had some great laughs.  I commented to my daughter that I am probably the only person in America celebrating their 57th birthday with a game of Pin The Tail On The Donkey!  Living life through the eyes of a 5 year old is never boring. 

Those of you who have suffered the loss of a loved one can probably relate to what I am about to share.  I would love to hear from you and how you deal with your loss because sometimes I need to know I’m not the only one that feels this way.  Most of the time, I am good.  Life just clicks on as if nothing has changed.  Life does that, you know, even if we don’t want it to.  Then, all of a sudden, this wave of grief just comes out of nowhere, like a tsunami washing up on the shore and pulling everything back out to sea.  I find myself stripped bare leaving nothing but raw emotions.  These emotions are almost uncontrollable.  I climb up into my Abba Father’s arms and He lets me cry all I want to.  He just holds me and comforts me.  He doesn’t change the conversation to things about Himself.  He doesn’t tell me to suck it up and move on with my life .  He just listens and He just loves me.  And when I have cried it all out for that time, He still holds me tight until I am ready to face life again.  Then He goes with me, helping me rebuild. How thankful I am to be His child!!!!  Something I have learned from my experience with grief and pain is that we (I include myself) could all learn to be a little better at listening and at loving.

Lots of love, Sharon


6 thoughts on “It’s My Birthday/ I Can Cry If I Want To

  1. Sharon, yesterday would have been mine and Tommy’s 45th anniversary and even after 9 years of him being gone, it is still hard to believe that he is not a part of my life anymore. There is not a day that I don’t think about him. The nights are the hardest though. You are so blessed to have your Dad around to be there for you. I have a lot of talks with the Lord and sometimes I am not so nice, but He understands and forgives me. He is my strength and refuge! Happy Birthday tomorrow. You will get through it,
    Love
    Alyce

  2. HAPPY BIRTHDAY, to my Sh-Sh!!!!! It’s okay to cry if you want to, but just call me, I’ll cry with you.:) Les is surely leading the heavenly choir in a right-on key of Happy Birthday. Now that is sure to make you laugh!!!! Have an awesome day. The Lord made it so it’s got to be awesome! Love you long, love you strong, you know I mean it!!! Deb

  3. Hi Sharon…. and a very Happy Birthday to you. I hope you have a wonderful day because it is just so beautiful outside. I wonder sometimes where you gather all of your strength, but then I remember…. you are so true to your faith. I know our God is a loving God and you’re right, it’s very hard at times to wonder how you will get through the next day or even hour. I know I do. I love reading your blog and you are an inspiration to me… Lots of Love your way…. Angie T.

  4. Happy Birthday Sharon! That is just so fun that you played “Pin the tail on the donkey”! You have such a great family to draw support from and to just be with and do things with. And, I am glad you have your Dad! It was so good to meet him Friday night. He is such a delight! I am still thinking and praying about your Bible study. I will let you know!

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