Tomorrow (Tues, Jan 10) will be my birthday. It never even crossed my mind that I would be a widow on my 57th birthday. I’m sorry, but that is just wrong!!! Oh, I know many others have been in my shoes at a much earlier age, but we’re talking about me here. Once in a while, I get a little self-absorbed. Don’t you? Just so you know, I will not be spending my birthday alone. I have a “date” with my dad. He’s taking me wherever I want to go. As of right now, the jury’s still out on where that will be. Speaking of my dad; he has been my rock. We have spent so much time together that the guys at the shop call me his “side-kick.” With Mama passing away in June and Les in November, the two of us just naturally fit together. I always have someone to eat dinner with. We are a big comfort to one another.
Saturday night, my daughter and my sister hosted a nice family dinner for my birthday with steak and all the trimmings. We even had chocolate lava cakes for dessert. Talk about good!!! We were winding down the meal and just sitting around the table talking when my 5 year old granddaughter spoke up and said “Well guys, who’s ready for a game of Pin The Tail On The Donkey?” As she was very serious, since that is what you do at birthday parties when you are five, I immediately said “I am.” And guess what? We all (from age 2 to 81) played the game and had some great laughs. I commented to my daughter that I am probably the only person in America celebrating their 57th birthday with a game of Pin The Tail On The Donkey! Living life through the eyes of a 5 year old is never boring.
Those of you who have suffered the loss of a loved one can probably relate to what I am about to share. I would love to hear from you and how you deal with your loss because sometimes I need to know I’m not the only one that feels this way. Most of the time, I am good. Life just clicks on as if nothing has changed. Life does that, you know, even if we don’t want it to. Then, all of a sudden, this wave of grief just comes out of nowhere, like a tsunami washing up on the shore and pulling everything back out to sea. I find myself stripped bare leaving nothing but raw emotions. These emotions are almost uncontrollable. I climb up into my Abba Father’s arms and He lets me cry all I want to. He just holds me and comforts me. He doesn’t change the conversation to things about Himself. He doesn’t tell me to suck it up and move on with my life . He just listens and He just loves me. And when I have cried it all out for that time, He still holds me tight until I am ready to face life again. Then He goes with me, helping me rebuild. How thankful I am to be His child!!!! Something I have learned from my experience with grief and pain is that we (I include myself) could all learn to be a little better at listening and at loving.
Lots of love, Sharon