Welcome to my brand new blog. It has been a challenge for me to get this set up and moving forward. CaringBridge was quite simple. I am excited about sharing with you as I start this new year on a brand new journey; one I didn’t wish to have but find myself in.
After 36 years of marriage, being widowed is a very odd place to be. I keep waiting for Les to come home, then remember that he’s not. I miss him a great deal. After 13 months of dealing with cancer, we had become extremely close and dependent on one another. Les was the one I asked all the questions I needed answers to. He was the trivia king! Everyday, there are things I want to ask him or tell him. Just tonight, I picked up my cell phone to call him (I’m at the beach with my dad and sister) then remembered he’s not there. I guess those things will get easier.
Christmas was harder than I had expected. The toughest part was dinner with Les’ family. It was the first time I’d ever been with them without him. They didn’t mention Les the whole time. I took it upon myself to talk about him. No one should think they have to protect me by not talking about him. Yes, my life has changed, but he will ALWAYS be a major part of my life. Sharing our memories of him gives me great pleasure and I believe it honors him.
It is 6 weeks ago today that Les went home. It seems like a lifetime ago. As I look to the future, I wonder where it will lead. I am trusting God for the plans He has made for me. He has been faithful to this point and I know He will continue to be. Life isn’t always fair, but God is always good even though we may not understand. Everyday we have a choice. We can wallow in the unfairness of life or we can rejoice in the goodness of God. I choose to rejoice.